Dopamine Detox Required?

When can too much of a good thing be...not a good thing?

Hello my lovely meow’s. How are you this week? It’s the week of really being back at work (if you are). Even if you were back last week, let’s face it, there wasn’t really that much to do, because so many other peeps were still enjoying the (not so sunny) summer break. But this week, I’m finding my brain gravitating to all the things I now need to focus my attention on to build my Nathy G empire. My website is coming along nicely. My free opt-in resource is taking shape and I’m building two online courses - so the plan is - to be making money in my sleep, while I support all my lovely clients with courses in how to have icky, uncomfortable conversations with more confidence and courage.

And it’s only Tuesday!

‘Wow - look at her go’ I can hear you thinking. Yes - just 6 months ago she was a puddle of grieving, mushed up emotional pulp - and now look at her. Boldly approaching her life of uncertainty as a personal impact coach and speaker with all the aplomb and confidence of a person who’s new to dating apps and has just had 10 likes in the first day. (not bragging, but yes - have achieved this as well).

There’s a few things about working for yourself (well there’s many, but I’m focusing on one in particular today) and that is the ‘F’ Word - Focus. For those of you who are naturally gifted in this area - you are strange, weird and wonderful creatures, and I marvel at your ability to stay the distance with things like writing reports, filling in expenses, doing your tax, folding your undies, following a recipe, or watching a show on netflix without pausing 10 times to do….well I’m getting to that.

Focus is not my strong suit. Every psychometric profiling tool I’ve ever done included in the report (somewhere) words to the effect of ‘Nathy gets very excited about starting things, but may find completion a challenge’, or ‘Nathy gets bored easily’. Come to think of it, it’s really just an extension of the majority of comments in my school report cards - ‘Nathy is easily distracted’. ‘Nathy would do well to put as much energy into her studies as she does into chatting to the other students’. (How rude - I’ve made a living out of chatting to people, and it serves me quite well thanks very much)!

So where working for an employer has varying degrees of externally imposed boundaries and expectations, working for yourself requires that any boundaries and expectations are imposed by yourself. I’m a work in progresss - never shied away from admitting that - which basically means I now lean fully into the fact that I haven’t got all my shit sorted (or my undies folded), but I am always seeking to learn, grow and do better today than I did yesterday.

Now - where was I? Oh yes - focus! Don’t get me wrong - I love getting stuff done. Really LOVE it. I just find it a little more challenging to not get distracted than some. I don’t have ADD, or ADHD (I’ve already done the test years ago - hoping to be absolved of my naturally occurring early boredom markers, with a diagnosis -but no).

Lately - I’ve found my distraction tendencies amping up a bit. Lot’s more scrolling, lots more walking to the kitchen to look in the fridge, lots more flicking around streaming platforms. I even have 4 different books on the go. What is going on??!

I blame Hinge

Yes - there I’ve said it. I am back on the dating apps (it led to 9 years of loved up bliss last time, so there’s a good track record there). But it is VERY distracting - IF - you allow it to be. Hence the title at the top - Dopamine Detox. We all know that Dopamine is a naturally occurring chemical in the brain. It is often called the ‘feel good’ brain chemical. And it does make you feel good. Dopamine is the chemical that motivates us. Drives us to get off the couch and go seeking things - adventure, thrills, partners, cheeseburgers. Dopamine is also part of the reward system of the brain - so that when you do get off said couch and go hunting down that adventure (or that cheeseburger) - and you find it - you get another hit for being such a good little hunter.

Nom Nom Nom - yummy dopamine. Package that shit up and sell it - you could make millions!! (oh…people already do that - it’s called cocaine). I bet Mae West was a total dopamine fiend!!

Trouble is - it sets up a cycle that is addictive and sometimes (especially for we easily distracted types) difficult to break. It can create another thief of time and productivity - procrastination. It’s the constant little ‘hit’ of instant gratification that we get from any dopamine inducing behaviour - social media scrolling, eating, masturbating - and yes - Hinge bingeing. All of these things seem quite innocent in the moment - but left unchecked can turn into a monster of ever increasing appetite matched only by ever diminishing returns (and the important things in life not getting done!)

So - what to do? Art to the rescue!

Harvard Professor and Art Historian Jennifer Roberts challenges her students to an exercise of ‘slow looking’ to improve their focus, patience and powers of observation. The challenge is pretty simple - find a painting, sculpture or other piece of art - and settle in to observe it (and nothing else) for three hours. Three whole hours! They are of course - permitted to take notes, and make sketches, but no phones, no social media, no emails, no online shopping, no texting - and NO Hinge! I’m already twitching at the thought of this - which tells me one thing. Clearly - I need this exercise in my life.

I’ve got big bold plans for my 3rd act, and I want my brain (and body for that matter) to be opimally operational for all the fun stuff I’m going to do. I know that endlessly chasing this dose of dopamine is a great way to derail all my beautiful dreams and goals. So - this Friday I’m off to the Art Gallery of NSW to find myself a painting to plant myself in front of. Three hours - hmmm - better be a bloody big one. Probs an old master - lots going on in those.

If anyone’s looking for me Friday - I’ll be arse parked on a seat - staring into the abyss of oils and canvas - getting comfortable with my discomfort. Wish me luck!