Can We See Change Coming?

Research suggests we can't...

Hello loveliest of lovelies. Welcome to the week. It was an early start for me this morning. Uber booked for 5.15am to get to the airport for a flight to Singapore for work. A very sleepy checkin - not very busy at all (my favourite way to navigate airports), breeze through no queues and automated passport control, followed closely by the fabulous new bag scanning buckets - so large you don’t have to unpack your shit - just dump the whole lot in. Before I could say ‘which way to the lounge’ (which I can’t say anymore since Covid stripped me of my travel miles), I was jettisoned into the bright lights of Heinneman Duty Free Retail ‘precinct’. All of this before 7am!

I used to look forward to this part of travel so much when I was younger. All the bright, shiny things being hawked by bright shiny people eager to have you part with your hard earned moolah. Walking through there this morning I was struck by what a Taj Mahal of consumerism airports (and shopping centres in general I suppose) have become. Every luxury brand and Zeitgeist designer imaginable is represented. Iin the centre - where all the cheap crap used to lurk - is now a sea of ‘pop up stores’. Seriously - Bulgari has a pop-up. So does Chloe. Oh - they have their own signature stores too; with 80 foot ceilings - it’s like a huge cathedral. I wonder if it’s designed to suck you in with the sunglasses and smaller handbags, (which, I’m convinced, are the gateway drugs to designer shopping) and once you’ve worked yourself into a lather in the cheap seats, they lure you into the alters where you really get to pay your pennance and part with the serious money.

Clearly I hadn’t yet had coffee this morning, because I wandered around slightly dazed taking it all in, in an almost dream-like state. In my younger days, once I was through bag checks - as soon as I saw the Chanel counter, my pulse would quicken, my heartrate start to elevate and my eyes couldn’t take it all in fast enough. A bit like turning up at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I wanted it all. I wanted it now. And it was all overwhelming and totally over-stimulating.

I realise now - this was my nervous system going into overdrive as a response to the environment I was in. I would find myself in places or situations where I could spend money and even if I couldn’t afford it, I would go nuts. And I had to have things. It was like ‘I’m here and so is all this magnificent STUFF! And if I don’t consume it now, I might never get the chance to have any of it EVER AGAIN’.

It happened to me in New York about 25 years ago. I was on the hunt for cool sneakers - and after 3 hours of pounding the pavement I walked into a sneaker store with an atrium 3 floors high and the walls from floor to ceiling were lined in sneakers. That was it for me. I totally lost my shit. Went into full meltdown.

Ran out of the store sobbing and shaking. Completely overwhelmed. Thank god for my girlfriend Brenda - who knew exactly what to do in that situation - and very smartly - took me to a lovely dimly lit bar with leather banquettes and plied me with Martinis. Problem solved.

It’s an absurd state to be in - as an adult - when we know that shops always have more shit to peddle to you, and always will. And yet something about that environment triggered in me a response akin to an overtired toddler melting down in the middle of Coles because Mum or Dad (usually Mum) won’t let them have a Kinder Surprise.

But this time it had all changed

As I wandered lonely as a cloud around the hallowed halls of Gucci, Chloe, Bulgari; perfume, sunglasses, handbags, (and yes sneakers!) - I felt nothing. I felt no urge, no overwhelm and most noteable of all - no desire, to spend, to consume, to amass more…let’s call it what it is…stuff. (Very beautiful stuff, but stuff all the same).

If you had told me twenty years ago that one day I would no longer covet pretty, bright, shiny, expensive trinkets, I would have laughed at you. There is no way I could have foreseen this shift within myself. And yet, when I look back at the past twenty years I am amazed at how vastly my consumerism priorities have shifted. I’ve become a huge fan of recycled fashion, not paying full price for anything, and eschewing designer fashion as indulgent and unnecessary. Who the hell am I?!

Am I having an ‘End of History Illusion’?

Back in 2013, researchers came up with this idea called the "end-of-history illusion." So, what did they do? Well, they ran a bunch of experiments involving over 19,000 folks aged 18 to 68. They wanted to figure out how people's personalities, values, and preferences change over time.

Here's the interesting part: they asked participants to reflect on how much they'd changed in the last ten years and predict how much they'd change in the next decade. And guess what? People of all ages thought they'd changed a lot in the past but didn't expect much change in the future. It's like everyone sees the present as this big turning point where they've become the person they're going to be forever.

I don’t know about you, but when I reflect back on the several decades I’ve been hanging around this planet - there have been several (if not many) times when I’ve pondered ‘is this it? Have I arrived? Am I fully baked?’. That question as to when we finally become the ‘person we were meant to be’.

When I reflected further on the principles put forward in the ‘End of History Illusion’, it seems to be reflective of why so many of us are apparently so resistant to change. Is it that we resist it, or is it that we just can’t see it?

So as I often do, when I learn something new about humanity, human nature and therefore myself - I think ‘Game on Moles’ - let’s see if we can put this theory to the test. What I do know - is that I’ve grown and evolved immesely over the past decade (even two). Relationships, parenthood, careers, vocations, friendships - all have shifted more and in ways that I certainly didn’t foresee at the time. So how can I use this information to plan for my future? It might see like an oxymoron - how can you ‘plan’ if things are going to ‘change’ much more than you could ever predict?

I think maybe I’ll just frame it this way. ‘I’ve actually got no idea where I’m going to be in ten years time, but I do know that I will have experienced much, grown immensely, weathered storms and enjoyed incredible adventures, loved, laughed and lost.’

How about you? What will the next decade bring you?